Monster Fun Comic #1

14 Jun 1975; Cover price 6p.
32 pages. Colour & B&W.
IPC Magazines Ltd.

Edited by Bob Paynter.

Cover by Robert Nixon (uncredited)

Free plate wobbler.

Contents:

.2 UNTITLED [Hiya, readers ... I'm Frankie Stein]; illustrated by Robert Nixon. / This Week's Free Gift / Next Week's Freaky Free Gift / Indicia

.3 Kid Kong UNTITLED ["Roll up! Roll up! Come and see the biggest gorilla in the world-"] w: UNKNOWN; a: Robert Nixon.

.6 X-Ray Specs UNTITLED [An Unusual Pair of Specs] w: UNKNOWN; a: Mike Lacey.

.7 Martha's Monster Make-Up UNTITLED [Special Monster Make-Up] w: UNKNOWN; a: Ken Reid.

.8 Dough Nut and Rusty UNTITLED [The Posh Family and Servants Back in the Year 1900] w: UNKNOWN; a: Trevor Metcalfe.

10 Grizzly Bearhug... Giant UNTITLED [Broken Down, Miles from Anywhere] w: UNKNOWN; a: Andy Christine.

13 Monster Fun Comic presents THE CONTEST TO END ALL CONTESTS! (half page) competition. / How to put together your Badtime Bedtime story book (quarter page) / We don't give the orders-YOU DO! (quarter page) subscription form.

14 Art's Gallery UNTITLED [Calling Art Lovers Everywhere - Here's Your New Hero!] w: UNKNOWN; a: Mike Lacey. / Art's Prize Potty Pictures

15 Badtime Bedtime Book 'Jack The Nipper's Schooldays' w:/a: Leo Baxendale.

20 Draculass - Daughter of Dracula UNTITLED [Draculass from Transylvania] w: UNKNOWN; a: Terry Bave.

21 Brainy and his Monster Maker UNTITLED [The World's First Monster-Making Ray Gun] w: UNKNOWN; a: Vic Neill.

22 March of the Mighty Ones UNTITLED [It Began One Day] w: UNKNOWN; a: Mike White.

24 Monster Hits - Top 10 Gags UNTITLED [Here's a Real Gas] w: UNKNOWN; a: Artie Jackson.

25 Major Jump, Horror Hunter UNTITLED [Wanted: Willing Lad as Assistant] w: UNKNOWN; a: Ian Knox.

26 Creature Teacher UNTITLED [The Little Monsters of 3X] w: UNKNOWN; a: Tom Williams.

29 Tom Thumbscrew, the Torturer's Apprentice! UNTITLED [The King's Basketball Team] w: UNKNOWN; a: Trevor Metcalfe.

30 The Invisible Monster UNTITLED [The Monster from the Deep] w: UNKNOWN; a: Sid Burgon.

32 Cinders - She's Hot Stuff UNTITLED [In Days of Old, When Knights Were Bold] w: UNKNOWN; a: Norman Mansbridge.

Monster Fun Comic is an odd beast. Which is appropriate, really.

Given the treatment doled out to Kid Kong at the beginning of his strip, you would be forgiven for thinking that there would be a rampage of some kind on the cards. You would be wrong. Sort of... No chaos wrought by the banana-obsessed ape is through spite or malice, instead being a series of events which escalated out of control in a manner not unlike that seen in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. He's called an ugly brute, and horrible, before being thrown a lone banana for his rations.

What would you do if your were in Kid Kong's place? Of course he escapes from his cage. Breaking into a department store in his hunt for nourishment, he discovers a giant school uniform and puts it on. Why, you ask? Well, he can't exactly blend in if he is naked, can he? In his cunning disguise, he approaches the home of Granny Smith, who takes pity on the "poor lad, shaking with cold." When men from the fun fair arrive to reclaim their gorilla, Granny Smith chases them off, chastising them for their cruelty.

There are some beautiful flourishes in Nixon's artwork (the first panel, especially so), and Kong is given real character in his facial expressions - though never losing a essential cartoonish element which allows the comedy to work.

The introduction of the titular item in X-Ray Specs is handled almost as an afterthought, with an optician (named, rather unlikely, I. Squint) walking out of his shop and asking Ray to try them on. Discovering that he can see through items, he uses this ability to read a letter which is in its' envelope, dodges a punch from a jack-in-the-box, and avoids being covered in whitewash perched atop an open door.

Things are taken up a notch (or three) with Ken Reid's exceptional Martha's Monster Make-Up. Martha's father, who works in Mallet Horror Films, finds an old jar of make-up while sweeping out one of the dressing rooms, and decides that it will make a perfectly good gift. Applying her make-up, Martha discovers that it is special "monster" make-up, able to turn her skin "scaley and horrible." Liking the results, she rushes downstairs to show her mother...

Yes, it is a gender-flipped Faceache, but there's more to it than obvious parallels - being a domestic rather than a school setting allows for different kinds of stories to be told, and Ken Reid's art doesn't falter in providing the location with a reality which underpins horror elements. It is very much of its era - the second panel recalls the askance smile Barbara Windsor often gave the camera, and dressing tables with curtains around them are very evocative of seventies sit-coms.

Dough Nut and Rusty is slow to introduces the robotic duo, favouring the Posh family's persistent rodent problem. Dough Nut, the most expensive, exclusive robot ever constructed, and Rusty, neither expensive nor exclusive, both apply for a position on staff. When asked to make tea Dough Nut produces a tray laden with cakes and such, prompting Rusty to leave, dejected at his inability to compete. Squeaking from his rusty joints, however, encourages mice to follow him out of the Posh residence, upon which he is offered a job.

Rivalry between the robots is amusing and (strangely) filled with very human moments. There are some extremely nice designs in the "futuristic" setting (set in 2000). with a hovercar an especially nice touch - if I didn't know this issue had been published in 1975, I would have sworn that it was a subtle homage to Star Wars.

For fans of Jack and the Beanstalk there is Grizzly Bearhug... Giant, which updates the basic concept without introducing much in the way of laughs. It doesn't feel like a strip which has been given enough consideration - the title refers to a character (almost) introduced in the final page, while several gags fall flat, and the appearance of a witch (in traditional garb) feels horribly out of place. I'm not sure I'm on board with this strip.

Utilizing a two-page spread, Art's Gallery opens with young Art inheriting a supposedly-haunted Tudor home, with a distinctive jettied top floor, seemingly located in the countryside. After discovering that he has also inherited his uncle's paintings, Art decides to use the building as an art gallery, but his paintings have other ideas and attempt to make their escape. An art thief arrives attempts to steal one of the paintings, though is soon shown the error of his ways - a police reward for his capture delighting Art, though dismaying the paintings.

A fascinating notion, though one which is only briefly explored. Interaction between the paintings and the thief raises the possibility that people can enter paintings, as in Doctor Who and Night at the Museum, opening up an even greater landscape (pun intended) for the strip's future.

While this strip occupies the majority of the spread, there is an added bonus - below, in a short row, are five visual puns. The kind of thing where halves of a banana say goodbye, and the caption beneath reads "banana split." Readers are asked to send in their suggestions, with a £1 prize on offer for those selected for publication.

The paintings are awfully generic, such as Drake Playing Bowls, Circus Clown, Humpty Dumpty, The Three Musketeers, and Milkmaid being highlighted in this first strip, calling into question the taste of Art's uncle. It isn't what is presented here which is really interesting, as much as the implications for the central idea. The strip is a perfect opportunity to inject a little art history into the title, though there isn't so much as a hint of background to art or collecting.

Looking back on the first issue, it would have been more interesting to have a free gift tying in directly to a strip rather than a generic practical joke. One of the great tragedies of IPC during the seventies is the lack of imagination when it came to promoting their new titles. If art plates had been included in the first three issues, or appropriate tone (Caravaggio, perhaps, or Henry Fuseli), then Monster Fun would have had room to grow and mature as 2000 A.D. did.

I sincerely doubt that anyone with a passing interest in comics will be entirely unaware of the Badtime Bedtime Book pull-out section, and it is redundant to extol the virtues of Leo Baxendale's superior material endlessly, but this is something special. whether encountered within the pages of Monster Fun itself, or purchased separately (as they often are), the stories evoke a timeless joy which brings back childhood delights in a way that seems effortless.

'Jack The Nipper's Schooldays' isn't perfect - the paper stock it is printed on is adequate, but the repro is patchy in places in my copy. The strip is so far ahead of its companions (I'm looking at you, Grizzly Bearhug... Giant) that it really stands out as a creator operating at the height of his abilities.

Fully embracing the conceit of the title, Draculass - Daughter of Dracula is - after Kid Kong and Martha's Monster Make-Up - only the third strip to truly take advantage of the comic's theme. X-Ray Specs owes more to soft SF (of X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes calibre), Dough Nut and Rusty is SF, while Grizzly Bearhug... Giant, Art's Gallery and the Badtime Bedtime Book are fantasy. For a title with a unifying theme, there is precious little horror on display.

As I mentioned, the title really is an odd concoction of strips.

Young Maisie is introduced to her cousin Draculass from Transylvania, who is going to be staying with the family. Informed that dinner will be steak and garlic, Draculass leaps into Maisie's arms, terrified. To calm her cousin down, Maisie takes her to see Madame Threeswords Waxworks, where Draculass attempts to bite the neck of a model Cavalier, angering the exhibition's attendant. In chasing them out of the waxworks, a robber posing as a waxwork is discovered, and they receive a reward.

All is concluded happily ever after, and Draculass retires to bed contentedly. In a coffin.

Much like the Sprouto fertiliser in Shiver and Shake's Sample Simon, Brainy and his Monster Maker features a MacGuffin which enlarges items, though in this case in the form of a ray-gun of the kind Buck Rogers would recognise. Challenged to prove his Monster Maker works, Brainy enlarges an apple - which promptly crushes his friend Curly. The apple isn't the only thing which to be made of massive proportion, as a maggot (within the apple) quickly makes its presence known before escaping over the garden fence. Curly's short-sighted grandmother mistakes the maggot for her pet sausage dog, and takes it for a walk.

March of the Mighty Ones, the sole adventure strip within the comic, begins with a dinosaur stomping around an English village, crushing cars underfoot. It is, however, a film set, and the dinosaur is an animatronic, made for an Anvil Films production by John and Jenny Byrd's father. He shows the computer which controls his monsters to a local reporter, who is impressed with the lifelike quality of the creations - and a tad nervous.

He has reason to be scared, as there is more than a touch of the cinematic Frankenstein in play. To hammer home the connection, a bolt of lightning strikes down from the heavens onto the computer, bringing the abominable creatures to life. John and Jenny barely manage to get out of the way when the dinosaurs, by the miracle of divine plotting powers, come to life and go on the march.

However implausible the concept, the handling is superb. For a two-page opening, this is easily the equal of anything similar in a traditional adventure title, and the art is excellent.

Cosmo Crumpet applies for an advertisement asking for a willing lad as an assistant, and so begins Major Jump, Horror Hunter, a strip in which the titular character is attempting to create a monster menagerie. He's a very British chap, with walrus moustache and pith helmet, and his intention is to capture large animals rather than actual monsters. Insisting that there are no such things, Jump is shocked to discover that Meredith, Crumpet's "pet," is indeed such a thing. This prompt him to alter his plans by including real monsters.

While the Major's first appearance is all about laying the groundwork for the series, instead of any actual hunting, there is a likability to him which allows for some leeway in how far it can stray from the designated purpose of the strip. I can't be alone in hearing the sonorous tones of Windsor Davies when reading Jump's dialogue.

The wonderfully named Massacre Street School, which is perfectly awful in every regard for sane, responsible teachers, is the setting for Creature Teacher. Pitiful cries echo from the building, but it is screams of terrified teachers rather than pupils. Mr. Gimble, blindfolded and led out on a diving board, is urged by the pupils to provide an example of a dive - into a pool, it must be added, from which they have drained the water. Fleeing the school, Mr. Gimble is not seen again. And really, who can blame the poor man?

The headmaster is informed that pupils have refilled the pool, and are reenacting the Battle of Trafalgar. His mind is on more important matters: finding a replacement for Gimble, who only lasted two days in charge of 3X despite being paid £500 a week. The school has gone through 97 teachers, with Mr. Strong the worst affected - so traumatised by his experience that he has developed a pathological fear of children. Mr. Gringe is little better, having become an astronaut to get as far away from 3X as is possible to get.

Mr. Fume, the science master has a plan to whip the lads into shape, and escorts the head through an underground tunnel to his laboratory. What greets them is... Well, it is a creature. A Creature Teacher, to be precise. Able to face off against the worst 3X have to offer, designed to withstand any manner of rambunctiousness without cracking, and with enough tentacles to cane five pupils at once. The cry is raised among the class as one: Creature Teacher has got to go.

Tom Thumbscrew, the Torturer's Apprentice! is a decidedly strange strip. Outraged that his basketball team have lost, the King sends for his torturer, Tom Thumbscrew, who uses the rack to stretch the team out. Not horror, per se, but implications should be obvious to older readers.

Cyril and his colleague are minding their own business, tending to their lighthouse (okay, Cyril is reading a book on monsters, but still), when an invisible monster rears out of the sea and snatches up the lighthouse to use as a torch. Once the monster has found its' way to London, it deposits the lighthouse (next to Nelson's Column no less) and goes off on its merry way. A very subdued story with which to introduce the character.

Sid Burgon's artwork is, as always, highly professional and filled with incident, but the writing doesn't gel. The notion is a fine one, but without some hint as to physical presence of the monster there is no sense of danger. Out of sight, out of mind. Had dotted lines been adopted as a shorthand for the invisibility (thus spoiling the reader feedback on what the monster looks like) there might have been more comedy present, but when your main character is so absent from the strip it is extremely difficult to care.

A bold knight out to slay himself a dragon comes face-to-face (or face-to-reflection) with Cinders, the love-struck dragon - which is the entire plot, in case you were wondering. If only the comic had ended on a better note...

A work of undisputed genius, some real gems, a couple of mediocre strips, and then there's Grizzly Bearhug... Giant. This could have been an instant classic, but even with the presence of weaker material this is still a solid beginning. There's fantastic potential here, begging to be nurtured, and even the strips which I'm not completely sold on have things working in their favour.