Bloody Hell #1

Late Summer 1992. Cover price £1.00.
48 pages. Colour & B&W.
UT Productions

New British Horror Comic Strips

Edited by Kev F. Sutherland.

Cover by Mick Austin.

Contents:

 2 Amazing 50% Off Offer !! advertisement for Yago Holdings Ltd.

 3 Bloody Editorial w: Roger Langridge; a: Kev F. Sutherland. / Bloody Contents / Indicia

 4 The Night of the Living Deadymen, part one, w: Michael Salter.

 7 Head Ache w:/a: Nigel Maughan.

 9 New from UT Productions - Bloody Hell! (half page) in-house advertisement. / UT T-Shirts - Only £7.99 (half page) in-house advertisement.

10 Sin Eater Generations of Love part one, w:/a: Steve Noble, Kev F. Sutherland & Darko Perovich.

15 "Mixed Grill..." w:/a: John Watkiss.

20 Corporal Punishment's 'Tales of Haunted Combat!' ...Revenge! w: Andy Nixon; a: Bill Naylor & Andy Nixon.

23 Sinnerhound "The Collection" w: V.K. Lundsfeather; a: Kev F. Sutherland.

28 Explicit Hardcore Porn Video Catalogue advertisement for Jayhire Ltd.

29 Love Bite w: Shane Oakley; a: Gary Crutchley.

31 That's the Way to Do It w:/a: Kev F. Sutherland.

35 Strong • Uncensored • Imported - Adult Action Videos Direct from Amsterdam advertisement.

36 Mr. Hawk Jackflash w: V.K. Lundsfeather. a: John Erasmus.

38 Meadowmoss Windows of the Soul, part one, w: Steve Noble; a: Nigel Kitching.

41 Classifieds adult advertisements.

43 John Smith Beats the System w: Andrew Elliott; a: D'Israeli, lettering by H.V. Derci.

46 Short Sharp Shocks Untitled [Reader Challenge] (quarter page) w:/a: Kev F. Sutherland. / Short Sharp Shocks Untitled ["What's wrong darling?"] (quarter page) w:/a: Louise Del Aunam. / Short Sharp Shocks Untitled [New Jersey, 1978] (quarter page) w:/a: Michael Ryan. / Short Sharp Shocks Untitled [Clump] (quarter page) w:/a: Mac & Sickhead.

47 Adult Classified adult phone-line advertisements.

48 True Stories The Dead Queen w:/a: John Erasmus.

While the cover image works magnificently, some of the lettering leaves a lot to be desired - blue, green, and red lines are difficult to discern against a very brown illustration, which is an early indication that this isn't something which has been thought through. Despite wanting to celebrate this as a bold experiment I am immediately struck by how little consideration has gone into the legibility of the cover lines.

The illustrated editorial is a perfect way to introduce the title, with a couple of fine gags and some excellent layout work. Unfortunately, there's a page of adult advertisements on the second page, which surely limits the audience for the title. One can't help wondering how better appreciated the issue would have been had these not appeared.

The Night of the Living Deadymen (a pun on Ken Dodd's Diddymen) is an interesting experiment in immediately broadening the title's horror remit, though picking a strangely dated target from which to draw on may not have been the best way to kick off the issue. The "to be continued" note at the end is a depressing sight, as I haven't encountered a second issue. Without a firm commitment to future issues, beginning serials is an unwise choice. Not knowing how the story ends is only going to aggravate readers.

Set in Paris, in 1799, Head Ache is a dark little two-pager which - tantalisingly - doesn't answer the sole question it poses. The rather exquisite Sin Eater is very much a story of the nineties in appearance, but though is the one strip which I would like to see come back in some way.

These evangelists don't believe in dolling their churches up.
If you can tell them from any other Nissen hut, they've been too frivolous.
If you want stained glass and ornamental woodwork, you might as well be a Catholic.
This sort of religion is very strong in tight knit, isolated communities.
Strict adherence to the scriptures.
No frippery. No fancy music. No bending the knee.

Set in Wales, in 1969, the strip begins with a marriage interrupted by Mr. Gasell, who knows of a just cause and impediment to the ceremony. His neck squirms, before his skin explodes revealing his terrible form, as he claims the bride as his own. The story leaps forward to then-present day Berlin, but - as it is only the first part of a continuing story - there isn't enough to tell where the plot is heading. A great introduction to the characters, but left hanging.

Frank Martin's Plymouth hungrily devoured the miles of endless highway, the low contented hum of its powerful engine soothing, comforting, the travelling salesman. A safe, constant, reassuring sound taking Frank Martin home - home to his wife and children. Until...

A man leaps in front of Frank's car, desperate to be taken to the city. Departing for New York, he asks Frank if he has ever encountered a cannibal.

You may think that's a strange question for a man to ask. What would prompt Carl Lancaster, a successful - if somewhat bored - chartered accountant, to ask such a question? Let's find out. It's almost lunch time and Carl will soon finish devouring his young secretary with his eyes, and find himself a most unusual...

"Mixed Grill..."

Carl recalls stopping at a small town, for lunch at Old Nick's Cafe, but when served his meal discovers human eyes and a hand on the plate. Running, screaming, from the establishment, was when he encountered Frank. Frank responds that he knows of Old Nick's...

An excellent complete story by John Watkiss, in a creepy style perfectly in synch with the narrative. It may be a very short story, but combined with a wonderful host character (there's something about jesters which screams "horror potential") rises above expectations. This kind of material should have found an audience, and that it hasn't reappeared is a minor tragedy. The following tale, Corporal Punishment's 'Tales of Haunted Combat!' isn't quite as effective, with an overly cartoony style.

This is not a place you would choose to live.

Fifteen centuries ago this city's clean streets teemed with shiny, happy, educated citizens. With central heated homes and a good sewage system.

But the Empire declined and fell. Now, after a dozen invasions and wars, the survivors bear little resemblance to their great forebears.

The great plague killed millions. Thousands more continue to die from tuberculosis.

Survival was hard enough with the disease and crime of everyday life - then came the machines.

No one had dreamt what the machines could do. The work of a hundred men. A thousand.
A golden future of wealth and leisure loomed.

For some, but not for all. For most the machines meant ruin. Or death.

Soon the machines ruled, the powerful few at their helm. The poor at their feet.

There is no law that you would recognise. Corrupt city guards and brigands in the pay of the rich elite.

This is the world of our story. Not a place you would choose to live.

It is called Leicester. The year is 1805.

One of the most powerful opening pages of the nineties, somewhat diluted by the following pages being in colour. Sinnerhound is a highwayman under the magical spell of Lord Wartnaby, who is quickly transformed into something not human. Once more the story is intended to continue. A strong central idea, interesting character design, and some clever wordplay makes for a very attractive strip, despite it not feeling like a period piece.

Love Bite is amusing, though very much intended as a one-off. I'm not sure how this could have possibly been topped had the title continued on, and I'm impressed with how near-the-knuckle it is (if you pardon the expression), yet feels as if there was a touch of Hellraiser influencing the strip.

Things had been going rather well for Simon Punch. His new company car had electric windows and a phone. He could claim pretty well anything off expenses-

Judy confronts Simon about his affair with Sarah on his arrival home. Initially denying that anything is going on, he he turns violent, assaulting his baby and wife with a stick. When a police officer arrives, he strikes him down as well... That's the Way to Do It takes the Punch story as inspiration, running off in a different direction to other, better known, adaptations, and mostly works fine. The ending, however, gives one pause to consider how much is in Simon's imagination.

Deaths at a seance brings Mr. Hawk to investigate, and the unusual manner of the deaths arouses considerable concern. The medium, Madame Satsuma, claims that a ghost materialised and committed the murders, before disappearing. The resolution is rather clever, though I'm unsure of how well this would play as a regular feature. Yet another serial, Meadowmass, appears to have a long storyline in mind, but fails to engage immediately with such stylised content.

It is rather unfortunate the release coincided with so many titles vanishing from the shelves. So much of the material would have been clearer had there been further issues to properly appreciate the work. As an single issue, this leaves much to be desired.